Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Received a Letter Today...

It was from a member of my church. I will not post it, partly for length, and partly for other reasons. This letter pointed out, and rightly so, that I was being biased in my coverage of the church's lessons. I never intended such bias, and am truly sorry for it. My goal is objectivity, not polemics and being a jackass. I come off as thinking all Christians are complete bumbling fucktards apparently, and that is a message I do not wish to convey. Christians are wrong to believe in a magic sky fairy like they do, but that doesn't make them complete morons(eg Ken Miller). In my recent posts, I have been that which I have despised. I have been an angry, belittling jerk who picks fights with people who have done nothing to deserve it. All I have done is pick on them for being different than me.

Another comment from this letter, one that hit me deep, was how I treated my mother in my posts on her position on me going to skepticon. Apparently I came off completely unloving towards my mother, and like I had no respect for her. I did not mean for this at all! I love my mother, and I know she loves me. There is nothing I would take back from those letters, but I do admit I was rather angry while writing them, and none of the love i feel for my mom was being expressed.

If this post isn't fully coherent, that is because I am in a introspective out of it state.


  1. Dear "Nonreligious Nerd,"
    I find the posts on your site to be very childish and insecure. I am guessing that you are in your early 20's and are trying to find some sort of identity. I think it is completely healthy to explore other religious views and feelings. It is your decision choose your path but it was not your mother's decision to post her intimate thoughts and feelings with her son. By you posting her thoghts, feelings and concerns in a very public fashion you are showing your immaturity and disrespect for yourself and your mother. I also notice in some of your labels that you may be struggling with other aspects of your personality. I have many homosexual friends that have doubted God to justify their sexual orientation. Only after they have given in to the fact that they are homosexual did they feel free to worship their own religion. I pray that you find some sort of middle ground with yourself and your mother. I pray that you realize that there many, many points of view out their and your views will change as you encounter new life experiences. I
    want to remind you that your may need to ask yourself why you feel the need to be so disrespectful and your mother. I also am wondering by some of your posts if you are experimenting in recreational substances or if you just have a jumbled thought process. I would caution you that your words will not only justify your feeling right now but they will stick with those that you are condemning forever. There comes a poing when "I'm sorry" doesn't work and you will need find a way to make it up to those people that you are tearing down. It may not be in the next few years but it will come and you will really wish you would have gone about this differently. Looking forward to your reply.
    Always Neutral

  2. Always Neutral
    I am rather young. In fact, I am 19. I admit that my posts may be rather immature, if not outright stupid. I intend to be more mindful in future posts.

    You seem to be implying that because I am pro gay rights that I am gay(that is the implication that I am getting, correct me if I am wrong) and I would like to assure you that that is not the case. I am a heterosexual male who is against the act of denying a minority rights because the majority doesn't like them.

    I DO realize that there are many POV's out there, and I hope my views change as I grow as well(because otherwise we don't truly grow).

    I truly regret posting that letter, and the things I said about my mom. From this point forward, I am posting nothing related to my family for sake of their privacy. I regret having done that very much, because it hurt her, and that was never my intent. It was a hotheaded ignorant move.

    To your 'drugs or jumbled thoughts' comment, it is definitely jumbled thoughts. I am not an elegant speaker, and am usually not all that clear.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Lovey,

    It's true that sometimes you're a bit jumbled and more than a little incoherent, but I don't think you are being immature. You are attempting to work out your feelings in a way that makes sense to you.

    I do have to take issue with you saying that Christians are wrong to believe as they do. Isn't that the sort of harsh and, frankly, hateful language what pisses you off so much in the first place?

    You know that I believe in many many "sky fairies", and you also acknowledge that I am not a moron. But you think I'm wrong. That's fine. But I don't think you're wrong. You should try and stay away from such black and white distinctions, it blocks amiable discussion entirely.

    If you don't wish to become as biggoted as those you rail against, you should begin to mind your language.


  5. Theresa

    I do not see how it is bad to call something that is wrong(in the sense that it doesn't match the facts) what it is. I admit that some of my "You're wrong" comments have been over the line, if not outright hateful.

    Having re-evaluated, I have softened some of my views. I am not going to be ranting on all religious people for the actions of a few. However, if I make a post on something more general that does include all of them, such as belief in deities, they are fair game, because I am talking about what they believe.

    I will continue to make fun of religion, but shall do so in a light hearted way. If people cant laugh at a playful jab at their beliefs they are too uptight.

  6. First off, I am so glad that you talked to your mother instead of your other options you mentioned in your post. While suicide may seem like the easy answer you seem far to bright to take your own life.

    I have to disagree with your criticism of your speaking abilities. In reading some of your posts, you seem to be able to put your feelings into words very easily. I can tell when you are angry and frustrated by your change in tone.

    I want to address the homosexuality that I may have conveyed to you in a negative manner. I am in no way, shape or form against it. I, in fact, have two best friends that are a homosexual couple and very near and dear to my heart. When I addressed that very topic, I am actually drawing from their early dealings with their sexual orientation. If you aren't great. If you are great. I was only trying to uncover a deeper issue that may have been sparking you doubts and fears of Christianity. I read in some of your older posts about your service to the church and I was just wondering exactly what changed to make you doubt the "sky fairy." I can appreciate needing a scientific reason for creation. I, myself, have struggled with that in the past few years. I do have a few years on you and only recently have I realized that if I don't believe in a higher power then I am alone in a very big, scary place.
    As I suspected, you are young and very impressionable. This is also a time to spread your wings and find your footing in the world. While very exciting, it is also a scary time that you may not be able to fully appreciate until you are older. I do not know your situation that well but hypothetically, who will you turn too when you lose a family member or another tramatic event impedes your life? I'm not sure how the whole "sky fairy" thing works out but I know that I was in a similar place myself. A few years ago, I was suicidal. My roommate actually pulled me off of my balcony. There were several other ideas that crossed my mind...crossing the center line to hit a semi or just driving off a bridge. I even sat in my car in a garage with the door shut for awhile until I came to my senses. Honestly, a higher power had to be there or maybe it was the thought of having an eternal ear to listen to me. I have made so many mistakes in my life and the only way I am able to forgive myself is to know that I am not being judged by "sky fairies" so I don't have to judge myself. (BTW, easier said then done but always a work in progress.)
    My point is that a belief is sometimes all we have to get us through tough situations. I hate to see you turn your back on faith completely. I believe that a well rounded person is able to absorb many beliefs and develop their own identity. I do not think that name calling and bashing aid in the growth you are seeking as a young adult. I urge you to continue to explore the differences in beliefs but be careful to stay true to yourself and stand up for yourself not the latest cause. I would have to agree with Theresa in the black and white areas she addresses. Unfortunately, the world would run so much smoother if we only had blac and white areas. Most of the world strives to live in the black and stay out of the white but in reality, most of us live in the grey. I feel grey is OK as long as you respect the black and white views of the world.

    In addition, I agree with the comment that you working things out in your own way but sometimes our own way carries lifelong consequences and wounded hearts that are hard to repair.

    Hoping you find some peace in your life.
    Always Neutral

  7. "I read in some of your older posts about your service to the church and I was just wondering exactly what changed to make you doubt the "sky fairy.""

    I became severely depressed, and prayed to god repeatedly for help, and when none came, I concluded that he did not exist. I realize that this is a poor reason to stop believing, but I soon thereafter found good reasons to stay an unbeliever. One is the significant number of religions there are. They cannot, do to their mutual exclusivity, all be right. None of them seem to have a compelling reason to be believed over the others. Another is the simple fact that an assumption of nonexistence until evidence to the contrary is provided is the reasonable way to live. It seems just as absurd to me to accept 'god' on no evidence as it would be to accept a(this is my preffered analogy) giant rainbow one horned squid was invisibly floating above your head.

    " if I don't believe in a higher power then I am alone in a very big, scary place."
    This statement says only that believing in something is comforting, not that it is real.

    "who will you turn too when you lose a family member or another tramatic event impedes your life?"
    I would turn to my friends.

    I appreciate this discussion Neutral. I hope you stick around, because I might need you to keep me in check.