Some Conversations I've Had in the Last Week

I've had 2 interesting discussions with Christians this week. The first was me 2 friends, 1 Wiccan, and one Christian. I cant remember what we were talking about, but the Christian said we were a Christian nation. I countered with the fact that Jefferson, Paine, and Adams, to name a few, were all non Christians, and were founding fathers. In addition to this, the first amendment makes it clear that we, as a nation, have no religion. The counterargument that the Christian said (after saying that she was a history major, so she knows what she was talking about), and the Wiccan agreed to, was that we were a Christian nation because of the Puritans. Because the Puritans came over here, and slaughtered Indian tribes, we are a Christian nation... apparently. Nevermind that couple hundred year gap between those events and our nations founding. By the time our nation was founded, the Enlightenment had begun, and because of this, many of our founders were openly skeptical of Christianity. I gave up on the argument once it began to devolve into "no you are wrong."

The second discussion I had was at a Christmas party on campus. I was hanging out, waiting for my friend to get out of class so I could bring him home. As I was waiting, a couple of girls came over and asked if I wanted to come to the party. I went, and began talking to people. I saw one guy with a picture of Christ Pantocrator on his shirt. I started chatting with him, discussing the history of the image on his shirt(turns out I actually DID learn something in art history) and it drifted into a theological discussion. He told me he was a reformed Calvinist, and I let him know that I was an atheist. He began asking me how I live knowing my life has no purpose. I told him my life has plenty of purpose. My life purpose is to be happy, make others happy, enjoy my time here with my friends, and hopefully, make a significant societal contribution. He said that because that purpose was not eternal, it was meaningless. We continued talking, but nothing else meaningful was said. I ended up leaving soon thereafter.

Looks like I Won't be Going to Skepticon

My stepdad is not allowing me to drive there. So unless one of my readers knows someone In the Kansas City MO area, or someone who will be passing through here on their way, I won't be able to go.

Received a Letter Today...

It was from a member of my church. I will not post it, partly for length, and partly for other reasons. This letter pointed out, and rightly so, that I was being biased in my coverage of the church's lessons. I never intended such bias, and am truly sorry for it. My goal is objectivity, not polemics and being a jackass. I come off as thinking all Christians are complete bumbling fucktards apparently, and that is a message I do not wish to convey. Christians are wrong to believe in a magic sky fairy like they do, but that doesn't make them complete morons(eg Ken Miller). In my recent posts, I have been that which I have despised. I have been an angry, belittling jerk who picks fights with people who have done nothing to deserve it. All I have done is pick on them for being different than me.

Another comment from this letter, one that hit me deep, was how I treated my mother in my posts on her position on me going to skepticon. Apparently I came off completely unloving towards my mother, and like I had no respect for her. I did not mean for this at all! I love my mother, and I know she loves me. There is nothing I would take back from those letters, but I do admit I was rather angry while writing them, and none of the love i feel for my mom was being expressed.

If this post isn't fully coherent, that is because I am in a introspective out of it state.

Update on the situation with my mom

I talked to her about the note she wrote, and she said that it was hard to talk about the subject without crying, because she is disappointed. She said that she went full circle in letting me go, from 'hell no, you can move out if you want to do that' to 'whatever, he's 19' to 'he can go, but think about it.'

She wants me to think if it is something I really want to do. she thinks it is a rash decision that i might regret later, saying 'Why did you let me do that?' What she doesn't seem to get is that I would never regret an attempt to expand my intellectual horizons, even if it fails.

In any event, I will give it serious thought as she asked. Don't foresee changing my mind though.

Good and Bad News

First the good: I get to go to Skepticon! WOOT!

Now the bad: My mom is a religious nutball(to borrow a phrase from Mojoey). Then again, we've all known that since I first asked to go to Skepticon, didn't we?

I asked again, since she said she would do some 'soul searching'. She said she'd let me know the next day. I come home the next day, and, lo and behold, what do I see on my desk but this letter(my responses are bellow it, numbered, corresponding to superscript numbers):

Corey,

            I can’t express enough how much it breaks my heart to see you stray away from God.  I am heartbroken and I love you.  I know what will be presented at the convention (here is what one internet site had to say) : “The speakers will provide many of the reasons that belief in god is not only indefensible, but harmful to society as a whole.  Our presenters will suggest ways to combat faith in government and in general. They will also rebut many of the common arguments in defense of belief in god.”  This will be extremely harmful to you spiritually.

Im not spiritual, so why should I care if it damages that?

 I know you think this is your belief, but I remember you being very different.  I remember you being zealous to attend church and to be baptized into Christ.  Was that all a show, or is this all a show?  Have you changed, really? 

 Both my Christianity and atheism were sincere. I truly have changed. alot. Im much happier now, due to no longer having cognitive dissonance from trying to make the bible and fact coexist.

 Eternal salvation and forgiveness is nothing to tamper with.  Seriously consider your spiritual options.  Don’t make any rash decisions just because your friends think this way.  Dare to be different, and stand out in the world.

My friends DON'T think that way. I have lost more friends for being openly atheist than I have gained. How exactly is it being different by following a belief followed by 76% of the USA?

 I know not all Christians, including myself, want to be too different from the world, but can you at least try?  Don’t let some Christians give all Christians a bad name. 

            I know you feel you are making an intellectual decision based on the literature you have read.  I can’t argue with you here, because I have not read all the literature.  As you have currently come to believe that the Bible is false, perhaps some of the literature you have read is actually false.  Consider this as an option.

It could be wrong, but all the evidence points to it being right. If it turns out to be false, I will accept that.

  The air we breathe cannot be seen, heard, tasted, smelled, or touched, yet it most certainly exists.  The force of gravity cannot be seen, heard, tasted, smelled, or touched, yet we know that it exists. 

You feel air every time there is a breeze, and feel gravity when ever we come back down after a jump.

Emotions, values, beliefs, and thoughts cannot be found by using any of our senses, yet they are as real as rocks and trees.  Emotions can be “felt”, but this feeling is not physical.  Thus, simply because something cannot be found through the use of the five senses does not mean that it does not exist.

  There are things beyond the human senses that we know exist, but we know they exist because of empirical evidence. Not some goat-herders writings, but science.

  I realize you may not feel God in your life right now, but He is there and still loves you and is willing to forgive you.  I still think God has a plan for you. 

            I’m not only worried about your spiritual well-being, but Tommy’s[my brother] as well.  For this reason, I will not allow any atheist talk around him.  As his mother, I absolutely will not tolerate it.

I accept that. It is her right to raise her kid that way. Now, I will have discussions with him if he so desires, but I won't bring it up, for now.

            Now to answer your question, “Can I go to the convention?”  First, I want you to know that I don’t want you to go because I believe it will harm you and take you farther from God.  That being said, as an adult, you must now make your own decisions. 

Finally something we agree on!

I will always love you no matter what, and I pray for the time when we will share in a common faith and love for God again.  Please make your decision carefully and remember that just as Jesus’ door is always open, all you have to do is knock, so will mine.

Love,
Mom

UPDATE: I talked to my mom.

The Coming and Going of Faith

I am a stubborn individual. I don't change my mind easily, but when I do, I go with it 100%. As a young child I wasn't very religious. I believed in that Jesus guy that my mom read to me at bedtime, but I also believed in the tooth fairy. I went to a Catholic church, but was too young to really understand it. I stopped going to church at 5 years old, because my mom split up with her then boyfriend(what a devout faith... held together by someone else's attendance, which was in turn held by his mother's insistence). After that, it wasn't really a subject until my cousin's fire and brimstone hell talk, mixed with insistence of an impending rapture scared the shit out of me.

After that, I insisted that we find a church. We did, and I latched to it. As a socially ostracized 14 year old, who could not find acceptance from his peers due to a disability, I would have taken any acceptance. I probably would have agreed to fellatiate a priest if it would have given me a group I could call friends. I began going regularly and loved it. I soaked up all the bible I could, learning all I could about it. To quote the 'good book' itself:

in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless. - Philipians 3:5-6

I was like Paul, a religious fanatic. I learned all I could about the bible. I was that annoyingly overt Christian who prosthelytized and preached to anyone who would listen.

It was because of this 'full throttle' faith, I knew a lot about the bible, which enabled me to see it's contradictions. I realized that there is no solid evidence to prove the bible, and, in fact, plenty of evidence against it.

Once my Christianity waned, I became a deist. I realized that science explained our universe's nature, and how humans came about, yet fell for the fallacy that because we don't know the origin of life, or how the universe began, goddidit! I soon realized that such logic was flawed. You can't insert god into any gap you find and call it evidence. It was then that I became an agnostic, based on the view that because we have no evidence either way, we should just leave it as a giant cosmic maybe. The problem I found with this was that it could be applied to anything. I could use that argument to 'prove' the Flying Spaghetti Monster, UFO's, Bigfoot, or, my personal favorite, Russell's Teapot. It is logical and scientific to begin with a null hypothesis, aka 'It doesn't exist until proven otherwise.' It was then that I became an atheist(although, if we are going by the actual meaning of the word, I was an atheist as soon as I didn't ascribe to theism).

Looking back, I am thankful for going to church. It showed me the flaws in religious thinking that I otherwise may have ignored in stubbornness. I feel like there is something I'm forgetting, but if I remember, I will post it later.

Living in a religious home.

Im an atheist living in a religious home. It is a struggle. Here is my situation: My mother, who believes in a literal interpretation of the bible, is a member of The Church of Christ in the town where I live. She and my brother go every Sunday. Then there is my Step-Dad. He is vehemently opposed to organized religion, and see's all religious people as filthy hypocrites. Yet, strangely enough, he reacted most negatively to me not believing in god. He got mad, and called me a hypocrite, for reasons I still do not understand. My mothers reaction was 'Ok.' followed by denial, and demand that I drop the subject if ever brought up.

Knowing how my situation is, I was wary of asking to go to Skepticon II. but I was tired of hiding who I am, and I wanted to go, as it is by far the closest a meetup has ever been to my location. So I asked my mom if I could go, and her response was "You know I don't approve of that!" To which I responded "I know, but it is part of who I am." She then asked me why I didn't believe, and I responded with the fact that there is, at the very least, lack of evidence for God. She then asked if I believed that Jesus had actually lived, because that "has proof outside the bible." I responded that if she was referring to Josephus, his writings on Jesus consist of 2 references, 1 shown to be a fraud, and the other to be rather vague. At this point she just said "Whatever, I don't want to talk about it!"

She then shifted into saying that she didn't know if she could allow me to do something like expressing myself (in a way that didn't fit her dogma) while living in her house. In essence she said that I cannot be who I am, because It bothers her. She did say she would "do some soul searching" and let me know if I could go to skepticon. So I remain hopeful. I will let you all know if I can attend.

UPDATE: I can go! Sadly, it is not all good though.